Long Weekend

I have a 4 day weekend. Good for me. I need a few days off. Of course, my long weekend of not being at work includes being on call, possibly having to go in on Saturday, and a ton of manual labor to work on my house/yard. I am getting some help, but it still sucks a big donkey shlong. I need a nice relaxing weekend on the couch with a nice woman and a few drinks. Lots of movies, lounging, cuddling up, relaxing, no cares, just enjoying time together.

I have a cookout "party" that I am suppose to go to on Sunday. It is intended to be pool and yard games and drinking and making fun of the drunks kinda thing, but its been cold and raining for the last week, so i'm not sure whats going on, or if i'm going to go. Its coworkers and former coworkers, so its not a big thing to me either way. Maybe I can get a date or something and have a good reason to skip it, or bring them and get everyone off my back to get out and looking for a woman again. Of course, I could try to get that and skip the cookout to work on my first choice.

I just want to sleep in tomorrow. Thats all. I have officially been given the new project in my plant, and I'm going to be back to really long days again soon. I need to catch up before I break down again. I'm so high in demand, it really is a good thing and the whole job security thing isn't a bad feeling.

The ex called today. I was at work and didn't pick up the phone. She left a message about getting together, and in the way she was talking, it seems that she has moved and/or moved in with the new boyfriend. Lucky him. Kinda sucked, maybe i'm wrong, and obviously i still have some feelings of hurt/missing her/wishing we were together, but I think I handled it relatively well, and good for her if she is happy, that was what i wanted all along. Now I just need to work on getting me to fully happy.

Not sure if I will be on here over the weekend, so I'll offer a premature wish of enjoyment on the long weekend to y'all. Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight.

God Damned Insomnia!

I actually went to bed early tonight. I first found my bed about 10:45, which is rediculously early for me. I lay there, tossing and turning, many things running through my head. I found out I am likely getting a new title/program at work. Girl #3 still hasn't given up on us being something. I wonder if I will ever find what/who I am suppose to be. I thought about the ex for the first time in a while, and after being pretty ok, had a moment of "what the fuck is wrong with her/me". I wondered why the people I work with assume I must be getting laid because I've been in a good mood the last few days, another what the fuck moment (I haven't, I need to, I miss it, it would be a better reason to be happy). I seem to have them more often as I get older. Cynical, obnoxious bastard that I am, maybe I should be used to it.

I will likely be out of the state again next week, only this time for the job thing. They do think highly of me, and are giving this to me because I am the go-to guy or something, so I'm looking at this possitively. They better fucking remember me when raises come around.

I get to see my puppies on Friday, and I have to keep them for a weekend (15-18) while my parents are out of town. I can't wait, they are my family.

I'm starting a side company with my roomate. We are suppose to actually sit down and get everything finalized tomorrow, but we both get busy, so it may be a few days. Anyone need computer or entertainment equipment/help.

I've vented enough for tonight. After a while I may actually try to sleep again. In the meantime, check out googlism (do a google search for it, put in your name and see what comes up). Thanks Lola for this little gem. There was some funny shit in there for my name, see what comes up for yours.

50th Post?

What the hell. I never thought I'd get to 50. I wish I had something better to write about, but instead I will just ramble a bit.

I should get some info about married friend's husband this week. Keep them in your thoughts.

Blogs are healing, at least have been for me...

I haven't been on a date in like 4 months, and that didn't count cause she was married.

Sex, hahahahahahaahahahahah (i'm crying on the inside)

I'm too damn picky when it comes to the people around me. Make it stop.

I miss playing competitive sports. LLWS is the best.

I miss my dogs

I'm due for a promotion or to move to another company. Everyone I work with is just waiting for me to leave cause i'm abused and worth more than I get.

I'm 28, and not even remotely where I thought I would be, but for the first time in a while, i'm ok with that.

I like classical music. I play piano, and i'm talented when I'm in practice.

I didn't go to college at the school I supported while in Highschool. Sometimes I wish I would have.

I've never cheated. Sometimes I wish I had.

I have been in love twice. I wish it was only once.

I smile a lot, even when I'm hurting badly.

There are only 3 people that know everything about me, and I don't think I'm one of them.

Life isn't so bad right now.

I now like a lot of music I used to hate

I don't care for my brother or his wife (and I blame her for him)

I like to bitch a lot, but outside of a lack of love life, i'm living pretty fucking well.

Only 4 days for me this week. Yard work on Friday will hopefully be successful and I'll actually have a yard for the dogs after a few weeks of letting the grass grow. I'm still more than a little bitter that the fuckers didn't fix my yard, but I just want it done now. It should be interesting, I'm not exactly the kind of guy that has a "green thumb". Anyway, Enjoy a wonderful week.

Prayers are requested

I did not go to Louisville, and I'm suppose to be at work now, but during my limited attempt at slumber last night, I got a call. It was about 3:45 this morning when my married friend called me. It started off as a decent "how have you been", "I'm heading home from being out with a friend thought I'd say hi", the usual catch up stuff. This went on for a few minutes, then she had to let me go to go see her husband on his break, but requested to call me back after that. Being the great guy I am, no problem. I don't sleep much anyway, and it sounded like she missed talking to me. So, 15 minutes later or so, she calls me back. I ask how everything is going, and she lets slip that her husband has to go in for an MRI this week. I can't remember if I posted this before, but he has/had cancer. To my understanding it is mostly under control, but they live with the reality that he could just drop any time. He has been having pains in the site of the cancer again, and they are understandably worried. After hearing this, sleep was pretty much non-existant, and of course I offered my support and wish her the best with everything. Please keep my friend and her husband your prayers to whatever diety you worship.

Thank you

I feel old (this time its not emotionally)

I think I broke my hip. It feels like bone on bone grinding in the socket. This is an old soccer injury that just seems to pop up periodically. It is painful as hell, and makes me limp noticably if I have to be on my feet much. I need one of those medi-aid alert things for when I finally fall and fully break it.

I'm just not in the mood for sex questions right now. With my hip being what it is, even if I had a special someone (be it Mrs. Right or Mrs. RightNow), I don't think I could enjoy myself. In reality, I'm sure I'd find a way, but nothing too acrobatic.

I have come to the conclussion that I am the only person that everyone where I work likes. I'm also the one that everyone goes to with questions, whether it has anything to do with what I do or not. I am the company sounding board aparently, and I have enough intellegence/experience with everything so I seem to be able to help with anything.

Someone asked me how things with the ex were today. I know they could see it in my eyes when I put up my front and said "fuck her". I then went into the standard "I still care and want her to be happy, we were good friends first, blah blah blah". While I meant it, it still kinda hurt to hear me say it and mean it. It kinda went with my quote from yesterday (she was my angel, it was even her pet name). I am getting seperated from the situation she left me in, and starting to come out of the headache that was worrying about what I did wrong. I am choosing to be the bigger person.

On a slightly different note, I was the most obnoxious person at work today. It was great fun, and everyone loves me, so I got it back just as much as I threw out. My inner 12 year old was out and active, I need to do this more often.

And E, yes, I'm a bit of a sell out. Free money is never a bad thing, and gas is too fucking expensive for my SUV. Every little bit helps. I would have thought a smart college girl like you would have picked up on that buy now...

Fucking Flu!!!

I stayed home sick yesterday, and today my head is still pounding like no other. I shouldn't have gone to work today either, but they can't live without me, and I can't get too far behind or I'll be working all weekend to catch up. It is a blessing and a curse to be good at what you do and be needed as much as I am. I'll take the postive road and say job security.

I have a few votes for my next round of random questions, and I'll try to get that out tomorrow, but be warned, I'll probably be moderatly tame. I wouldn't want to come off as the complete perv that I (and every guy) am. I'll leave you with some words that I have found meaning in from a favorite of mine:

"It just gets hard to believe that god sent this angel to watch over me
Cause my angel, she don't recieve my calls
She says I'm to dumb to fuck, to dumb to fight
To dumb to say well maybe I don't need no angel at all"
- Counting Crows, Miami

Uneventful Weekend

So, very uneventful weekend. Even with being in the office until nearly midnight on my birthday, I still ended up going in on Saturday. It sucks being the only guy that seems to be able to get things done. They better remember me at raise time or I'm walking (as soon as I get something else, got bills to pay).

I start my lawn project in 2 weeks. Its the first step to getting my buddys back. I miss my dogs, but need a yard and fence.

I finally saw "Superman Returns". If you haven't, I'm going to drop a little spoiler, so skip to the next paragraph. The movie wasn't too bad, not great, kinda so-so. It was superman though, so I enjoyed it. The man of steel had his imaged tarnished just a touch though, as did Lois Lane. A love child. He hit it. Good for him, but I can't look at him as the boyscout anymore. And she put out, what a tramp (just kidding). But does anyone else think that plays a little away from what he stands for?

Also, I vaguely remember somewhere that they were complaining about the codpiece of the new uniform. *sudden change of direction, yet somewhat on topic* Does anyone else think of the Hummer as the small penis status symbol of our generation? I have seen more H2 and H3's in this weekned that I care too, and can't help but think they have replaced the Corvett/Porsche as the "status symbol", that is really about a lack of manhood, or just general insecurity.

I was gonna have this weeks random questions be about sex, but I'll let a vote decide it. Either that or whatever else you all request. I'm kinda at a loss for the moment, so, vote sex/sports/personal vices/other (please insert other), and also Louisville or not this weekend.

So guess who got some hot birthday sex...

Now that I have your attention, it sure as hell wasn't me. Today (technically yesterday) was my birthday. Want to know how I spent my fucking birthday, well I'll tell you. The alarm went off at 6:30 after a very restless night of maybe 3 hours of sleep. I don't sleep all that much, so not too much out of the ordinary. I hit the snooze a few times, finally got up, showered and got ready for work. I left my house at 7:30 AM. Now today, as my birthday, I figured I'd at worst leave work on time, but truly looking to get out a little early and hit up a local spot for a few birthday drinks. I live in a dream world. In reality, I walked back into my house, after coming straight home from work, at 12:16 AM. I spent 16 hours at work on my birthday, and didn't even have anyone to come home to, not even my dogs. Not to brag on myself, but I am very good at what I do, and very dedicated to doing it well in order to better myself and my career, but this is fucking ridiculous.

I got exactly 6 birthday well wishers. My dad left a message, my ex sent a text, my married friend called me late the night before, an old HS buddy left a message, and two of my newer acquaintances. The ex really surprised me, but by this time I should never be surprised. Oh, and with regards to gifts/cake/hugs/handshakes/drinks/sex/anything given for this type of day, nada. I know I'm too old to get caught up in that, but at least someone offering to take me to get a drink or something would have been nice. Oh well, I've complained enough. I have a meeting early tomorrow for the shit I was at work late for tonight. I will leave with my birthday wish list, in no particular order:

New Job that I like
Intelligent, beautiful woman that I can talk to, rely on, loves me and I love
A meaningful kiss and someone to curl up next to
Grass in my backyard
My dogs
Real Sleep
Something to smile about

Tomorrow (today) is another day.

Additional Note#1: I was looking at my visitors and how they got here, and it struck me funny that the google search "guy alone unhappy "love life"" had me listed as the first hit. I'm number one in someones heart haha

I lost the post the first time I tried...

A comment was made that I needed to be more specific in what I am offereing and looking for in applications, so, heres a little more:

What you get
Companion
6 foot 2 inches, average to fit build
Dark hair, brown eyes
Boyish good looks (can pass for 22)
College Grad with new house
Enjoys quiet nights on the couch with special someone
Occational nights out with close friends
Cooks/Cleans
Works for a Fortune 500 company (actually 150)
Faithful
Intellegent
Loves Kids
2 dogs
Generally happy and easy going
That nice guy that every says deserves better

What I need
Be loving
Be faithful
Be supportive
Be understanding
Love/want kids
Be able to hold a conversation
Care about yourself/take care of yourself
Enjoy the company, even in silence
Be able to talk for hours about everything and nothing
Share that kiss everyone is looking for
Be my best friend and best love(r)

I'm sure there I will update this when I remember what I lost when the post disappeared the first time. I really don't think I ask for too much. The last one is the most important. I can't imagine that the feeling that I (all of us) is looking for would not include the friendship that we want. If there is any interest, comments, questions, resumes, or need for more specifics, please feel free to drop a comment or an e-mail. My mom says I'm a catch, so find out why :) Night all.

Leading up to the big day

As I've mentioned before, I'm feeling a little old again. Probably the lack of sleep. It happens. I don't really have a lot new. My roomates Ex is visiting from WAY down south. Still not really sure what she is here for, but he slept on the couch. She is a nice girl, but didn't really treat him all that well, even now in their friendship they have their moments.

My birthday is later this week. In honor of that, my next round of questions, all about what you can do for me...

Who is gonna give me that magical kiss everyone seems to be talking about? Birthday's are a magical time.

Who is taking me out?

Where are we going?

Who is giving me some birthday lovins?

Spankins? (not really big on this, but maybe I need the right girl)

Am I old enough yet?

Am I too old?

What tatoo should I get? I'm thinking between my shoulder blades?

What are some of your best birthday memories?

Who wants to make some birthday memories with me?

Who wants to get married? I'm taking applications.

Who wants to help me make a list to do before 30?

What should be on that list?

What else should I ask for?

What did you get me?

Anyway, this is my first birthday completely without anyone, so feel free to ignore, avoid, and make fun :) I'm sure I'll be more depressed as the day get closer, but for now, I'm just gonna ask for it all. Happy Monday.

PS, I'll try to keep the questions to one or two a week, but some of you seem to have interesting answers, and how better to get to know everyone out there, right?

Explination#1, I'm not actually looking to get married right now, just starting to take applications. First dates are interviews (now where have I heard that before?). Please submit applications and essay as to why you think you could be Mrs. ThatGuy to the e-mail link. Thanks, and good luck :)

Update #1 Its been brought to my attention that I no longer mention the dog. He is doing well and currently living with family. I have been unable to give him or his sister the attention they deserve with the long hours at work, and the general depression that I was suffering from. Once I complete a few projects around they house, at least the original dog will be coming home again. I miss my dogs, and they miss having a mom.

I feel like I should be old and broken

The first time I have plans in months, and I'm physically ill. I fucking hate my family for all having the same problem. To put it mildly, I have a very week stomach, produce too much stomach acid, and when it acts up, I get ill very easily. Its kinda like being hung over without the fun night out. I'm hoping that the meds kick in early enough for me to at least go out for a little while, but I'm thinking its not going to happen. I really need a good drunken night out, to meet some people, enjoy life, etc, but drinking tends to make it worse, then I get the real hangover.

Still no love on the horizon (see the comment above about going out), the few friends that know me and I was going to let set me up have failed me horribly. I'm not waiting for them to do all the work for me, but with the way my job is kicking me in the nuts again, a little help would be nice (I know its opposite of some things I've said in the past).

I'm feeling slightly down today. A combination of working long hours, including today, feeling sick, and a dream that I just can't quite remember, but caused me to awaken somewhat bothered. I know I've had dreams about the ex, the married friend, family, and a yet to be named friend in the last week, and they've all been bad. Maybe thats part of cause of my insomnia, fear of sleep.

Aside from that, I've decided to maintain my current position for the time being, basically unless I am floored by another offer. I am also probably going to start my masters in the spring. I'm also starting to look for some land, and if everything falls into place, open up my own place, a little theme bar/coffee shop/electronics/etc. Not 100% sure of what direction to go, and keep changing my mind, but I'm ready to do something new and exciting.

hope the rest of you are making your way through the weekend a little better than I. If I do end up out, and anything exciting comes up, I'll share tomorrow.

edit#1 I just split my fucking ear, another great addition to my day. I guess I got a little more sun than I thought, earlobe burned and now split and bleeding. Its always stupid little things that go wrong leading up to major issues, so any guesses on what will happen next?

I really like random questions

I spoke to my married friend tonight. She apologized, its been a while, but it was good to say hi. We were talking about my lack of a love life and she went into a bit of a fit about "I'm such a great guy that if she were single, and she wishes that she could find me someone and she is concerned that I'm not dating enough". Does anyone else have that problem from friends that are married or in relationships?

The ex is giving me back the ring and a few other items next month, but seems to be angry that I'm now at the point of trying to be an adult and friendly and understanding that we are done and life goes on, but it doesn't mean we have to hate each other. After 8 years and what has happened, I probably should hate her, but I'm "just too damn nice" (married friend's words). I just don't see that it accomplishes anything at this point.

This week has been long, I have not gotten home before 8 on any day so far, plus I'll probably need to go in for a while on Saturday in an effort to catch up. I'm suppose to go out to a local watering hole that night, but now it all depends on the number of hours at the office.

And now, a few more items that have come to mind.

If you end a relationship, good or bad, and still care, can you still be friends?
Is it easier to hurt someone until they leave your life completely than to say you are sorry?
Can you truly love more than one person at the same time (more than just friends)?
Can I hook up with my married friend? (just kidding, they are doing great and I'm very happy for her)
Does anyone like a guy with some freckles (I got some sun last week, I hate it)?
How about slightly shaggy hair (need a haircut too, but I did shave)?
Blonde, Brunette, or Red Heads?
Quantity or Quality?
Speakers or Headphones?
Eyes open or closed when kissing?
Right or left side of the bed?
Greek or independent (for the college kids)
Big 10 or SEC
Pro or college ball (pick a sport, any sport)
Are you tired right now, and what are you wearing...

night...

Blah Blah Blah

I know I don't like what I'm doing at work, but i'm good at it, and it pays well. I've truly decided that I'm just biding my time until I can do what I want, or start my own thing. I finally feel like I have a plan again.

The ex is giving back the ring. Brief text discussion, she got pissed cause I am being an adult and don't feel the need to completely throw away 8 years and am willing to be happy for her and do the friend thing. After being in a low place, this pushed me back to knowing that I'm not really at fault, and I'll probably be better off. If it is meant to be, we'll get back at some point, if not, it was an often fun, often infuriating learning experience, and other than a few moments, I don't think i'd trade it, cause then I wouldn't be me. I'm actually feeling a lot better about me again, which is nice. I'm sure I'll still have bad days, and I still want that tingly feeling when I have someone special to curl up with and come home to, but I'm just really having a good week regardless of how shitty some things are (back to the work thing).

new lists of either ors:

Chapelle or Mencia

Yankees or Mets

Cubs or White Sox

Fall or Spring

Baseball, basketball, or football

text message or IM

toast or bagel

When you wake up or before you go to sleeep

Car or truck

Holding hands or not

water or gatoraide

tease or jump 'em

beer or wine

booze or beer

neck or ear

sweet nothings or dirty

Dell or Gateway

Dave Matthews or Counting Crows

Skittles or M&M's

Large groups or small gatherings

red or blue

That'll work for tonight, enjoy finding the true "you" with these deep, though provoking insights :)

Thank you

I wanted to start with a thank you to those of you that have made me feel like I'm not the only one. I still have more than my share of tough days, but in general, its getting better and I'm (hopefully) starting to see the light and move on.

Last week was tough, dealing with family and questions and being alone. She really hurt me more than I let on to most people...

Random thought, should I shave or not? I was lazy while in SD last week and did not bother. Any comments or suggestions? Go for a full beard, half or full goatee, clean shaven, whats the choice? I leave it up to you out there in blog world. Of course, if I end up with a date at some point its probably going to be back to smooth, but I thought I would put it out there.

Second random thought, Cats or Dogs?

Star Wars or Star Trek?

Top or Bottom?

Winter or Summer?

Drink or Drugs?

Eyes or Smile?

Chest or Ass?

Dressed up or comfortable?

Boxer's or Briefs?

TV or Movie?

Family Guy or Simpsons?

I'll probably come up with more, but thats a good start, lets see what ya got.

Aparently I'm the cutest thing in the world

or at least thats what my young cousins think (under 5). of course, little girls are always right, correct? I should feel really good about this, now if I can only find the cute older girls that feel the same way. haha. any suggestions?

I am back in Indiana now, 13 hours in a car sucks ass, and yet, I'm sitting in front of a computer screen now. If only there were a special someone waiting for me to get home. I miss that feeling...

I'm freakin' tired

How many of you have moved an entire fucking farm in order to set up an auction. I work out a few times a week, I'm in decent shape, but good god this is kiling me. Its still better than being in the office, and I'm debating moving onto the other farm and taking up the life. I could be a cowboy, women love that right? haha

Being with family is bringing me down. The auction is because my grandfather passed away and mygrandmother is in poor health. I'm also constantly reminded that I'm the one that is nearing 30 and not married. Family sucks, but at least they are trying, so I can't get too mad. plus they are kissing my ass for using up my vacation to help set this up. We are almost ready a day early, and they were expecting it would take until about 5 minutes before the sale started, so at least I feel useful. now I just need a good woman to miss me and look forward to getting home to.