Holy Crap! I've got a house

Ever have that moment when you realize that you are really getting old. I got that recently when I moved. I am still getting settled, but damn if I don't feel empty, alone, and unsure of what is going on in my life. I'll have to believe that things happen for a reason, its the only hope i've got.

No Body Loves Me...

I was actually supposed to get lunch with her today, but that was squashed by a suprise visit at work from corporate and the customer. I didn't even get to sit down until damn near 1. Lunch was skipped, but she did say she was interested in trying again later. Its killing me to give her space to figure things out, and if we do get back together I want it to be for the right reasons, but I just hate having to bite my lip and not ask the questions that I think I deserve answers to. Love is a killer, if you can avoid it, do so at all costs.

Long long weeks

No one reads this so its not a big deal, but it has been a while since i've posted. Work is crazy, people are leaving, and business is piling up. We are all going to be burnt out soon. that will probably cause more people to leave. Its a never ending cycle. I have talked to her for a few minutes, she keeps saying space/time but she still loves. she called me late last night which is not like her at all. I was sick so i didn't answer, but she left a message that she was "just wondering what I was up to" said she'd call today (she didn't), and after almost forgetting, she said she loved me. I didn't figure she'd call, i'd stopped getting my hopes up to keep from getting hurt. I still hope for the best and really don't know. She swears she just wants time to herself, so she can love me becuase she loves me and not because she feels guilty. I'm going to try to give another week or so before I bother her again. Its not like I have a lot of time to worry right now, the only good thing about the long hours at work for the rest of the year.