Sunday night, 6:30 PM

Thats when I ended work this weekend. 2 more long days. Still not exactly sure why I deal with it, but it pays the bills and keeps my puppy fed.

I have been in an awful mood the last few days. I have a feeling that it will continue for a while due to the way my work is going.

I seem to have lost or alienated most of my friends. I'm not exactly sure why or how. I'm only in a bad mood with regards to work related things. I'm actually pretty relaxed and happyish the rest of the time. I truly miss talking to a few of them.

I'm not thinking that I've got a lot of chance to change my dating position anytime in the near future, but again, thats life with the job I have. While I miss having someone (and of course the sex) its not the end of the world.

3 days a week I get to the gym. It helps me stay centered, but I'm getting to a plateau that I am having trouble getting through and continuing to show improvement. It may just be a matter of time, but its still a little frustrating.

Happy Monday, here's to a great week for all in blogland.

Can I quit life?

I'm really struggling the last few days (weeks actually) to stay in a more happy place. I can't even stay on an upbeat note when I'm drinking and bowling. Even my teammates noticed I was more sedate than my normal self. I'm just not sure why things have sucked lately.

Work still sucks. I'm still working on the England thing, or something else, but nothing is moving at the moment. I'll be at my current job both Saturday and Sunday this week. I'm truly loving life.

At least dogs have unconditional love. Even when he's mad at me, my buddy is still happy to see me and loves me. Why can't people be more like that...

Ok, I'm done for now

The feeling sorry for myself passed again. Bad weekend. Bad work. Bad everything. Generally bad. I'm done with it. I'm still not quite right, and I'm still failing myself, but once again I'm gonna do my best to get past it.

Work is busy. I left at almost nine this evening. My stomach is giving me problems on account of the stress. My dog is giving me stress on account of not spending enough time with him.

On a good note, the snow is melting. I may actually get to wash my new truck and make it look good again soon. I should have grass in my back yard this summer.

I'm in the intial stages of looking at a job in England. It would be a 2-3 year stint, basically doing what I am doing now, but getting paid more and not dealing with the auto industry. I'm not sure if I really want it, but we'll see how it all plays out.

I'm going to the gym again tomorrow night. I have lunch with an old coworker/friend on Thursday. Lets see if the week can actually live up to being better rather than just look like it should be.

Something just isn't right

So far this year I have been forcing myself to be in a better mood, more outgoing, happy, meeting people, etc. Its something that I've been needing to do. I spent a long time in a deep depression, and didn't much like it. The feeling of not being able to do a damn thing right, no one being there for you, hating everything and every day. I almost killed myself, both suicide and by not taking care of myself. I threw myself into work. I avoided people. I, for lack of a better work, sucked.

I am feeling that way again. If I'm not at work I count the minutes until I can go to bed and be finished with the day. I'm losing touch with friends, but by my fault and thiers. I'm paranoid. I don't sleep. Once again, I'm not the person I want to be. I have been tring very hard to not let this come up again.

I may take some time off without notice. I may be back sooner rather than later. Either way, I will be reading and e-mailing, I will be trying to keep busy with work and tring to turn this around again. With any luck it will be a quick spin, and if I must deal with this periodically, so be it.

To all, be healthy and happy. I'm failing...

A Wonderful Made Up Holiday

A happy Valentine's Day to all. Don't get me wrong, I know its a made up holiday, but happy day anyway. May those of you with dates get some lovin, and those of you without have some luck in the near future.

3 feet of ice from the plow snowed me in today. 4 foot drifts also filling the driveway. Kinda funny since the roads were in fine shape.

Have you ever seen a dog running in snow that is deeper than it is tall? Some pretty funny stuff. He wasn't too impressed, and normally he loves the snow.

The smoking and working out/weight loss is hit and miss. Work is pretty hectic right now. Just doubled my workload this morning actually.

Well, not feeling like bitching anymore, and nothing too exciting going on at the moment, so I'll end where I started.

Happy made up luv day to everyone.

Another lovely weekend

I've managed to get most of my house clean this weekend. I get that bug every once in a while. I didn't feel well Saturday, so it worked out well to stay in and clean. Its being finished up today. It feels a little weird to be in a clean house. The whole single guy thing normally ends up with an organized house, but not often a true clean house.

The dog isn't mad anymore. I'm still not exaclty sure of what was his problem.

The roommate is back to 2 girls, more seriously with the artsy one. They both bug me. He is settling for sex when he whines more than I do about wanting something real. I make fun of him for it, and his only comeback is "at least I'm getting some". Damn him for being right.

Watch "The Office". If anyone wants to know what I act like, look at the character of Jim. Its like the story of my life. I'm not just saying that, I've been told that by 5 people I work with. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.

Hope everyone enjoy's their Monday.

Another Shitty Friday

Work 'til 6:30. Second job (my side company) until 8:30. It was a house call so I didn't get home until 9:15. Stopped for dinner on the way home and got hit on by a 17 year old. Can't help but laugh at that one. So, once again, a Friday wasted.

I was invited to a tatoo party tomorrow. I do not think I can go, and do not know what I want, though I do want one. Something on my back or shoulder.

I do have a myspace page. My married friend, whom I have not spoken to in a while due to the marriage issues, has a friend she introduced me to early on. We talked a number of times in passing when I was hanging out with married friend. She seems to have found me, which is impressive since I didn't have any pictures or a really good description at the time. This also links me back to married friend's page, which I had not seen before, and a number of other "odd" feelings. Mostly confusion, I really miss talking to her. For some reason I don't think anything good is gonna come out of this.

I'm still very dateless for both the weekend before, after and day of Valentine's. 2 in a row. God I love being single. Oh, wait, thats sarcasm. I need a life.

Snow is for the kids

I had another topic for the day, but I'll save it and instead talk about snow. I love playing in it, skiing in it, just relaxing inside on a cold day, but driving in snow sucks. I don't mind it myself, but no one else seems to know how to take their time and not be a dumb fuck while driving.

Thats it, just a little annoyed at stupid people.

Who wants to go skiing and properly enjoy the fresh powder? WV, CO, or UT all work for me. Just give me a time and place and I'll throw in the hot tub.

Colts Win, Colts Win!!!

Hope everyone enjoyed the Super Bowl. We now have a championship under our belt. Go us. I'm not really a Colts fan, but its nice to have a championship in the city since we suck at everything else.

Work is still sucking. Dating is worse. Dog still hates me. He needs a new mom to take care of him.

My company is being sold. Along with that, all salary's, 401(k), etc. is frozen. No merit or cost of living raise this year. This sucks.

Bad day on smoking. Back on the wagon tomorrow.

Gym starts this week. Just imagine me all big and buff. Scary thought.

I'm getting another roommate next month. Should be interesting, not sure if its good or bad, but its money, so I'm gonna run with it.

And like that, I'm off to do whatever it is that I do. Enjoy this fucking cold weather.

Its Friday night and I'm doing the blog thing

Good, bad, or otherwise, I'm in again on a Friday night. In my defense, I was out until almost midnight last night, didn't fall asleep until about 4:30 this morning, and my alarm started going off at 6:30. That plus having to go into work for a while tomorrow morning and a bad stomach day, and i'm happy to watch some HDTV, enjoy my couch, and throw out some randomness for those that still keep up with me.

First off, sorry I've been a little absent. Busy work, tired and not feeling the daily grind is always worth sharing.

I'm still hoping for a little fun on or around V-day, with no plans formalized.

My plant may be striking soon. That would kinda really suck, but they froze our pay and decreed merit/living raises will probably not be happening this year now, so fuck 'em.

I hate dry skin. I shoulder is itching like crazy from it.

I'm 8 pounds down now that I've started staying with the whole working out thing. I can see it, but no one else can. 15 more, and keeping it off for 2 months and then I get my tatoo. keep it off for one year, and I'll get my first motorcycle.

I like drunk bowling with my friends, even on a work night. I don't think I've laughed as hard as last night in my life. I managed to not piss anyone off this week, and towards the end the drunken antics should have.

My dog is mad at me. Not sure why, but he doesn't like to sleep on the bed anymore and stays away from me other than when he wants food or out. Its starting to bother me. I think he needs a new mom.

I love my new truck.

Ok, I'm done, need to crash on account of work tomorrow. Enjoy the weekend all, not to mention the big game. Go Colts.