Lots has changed

Girl #1 is now officially just a friend. As much as I liked her, and still have a crush on her, I'm very cool with just being friends. its actually working out really well and we have become pretty close.

Girl #2 is stil la close friend with dreams of more (on her part). She has taken the summer fling thing to a hope for more, but knows that we can't do so now. I don't know if anything more will ever come of it, but I really hope we can stay friends no matter how that turns out. She is a very sweet girl and deserves better than some of the shit I've already pulled (see girl 3 and 4). I feel like hell about some of the things that have happened, but we have always known it wasn't meant to be right now.

Girl #3 is the one that i'm actually working on something more with. We have been friendly for months, but she is hung up on figuring out things with another guy as well as myself. We did have a one night thing. I want more (at least another night or two), and i'm the kind of guy that needs to know for sure if I was just used or if there is genuine interest. Her friends all want her to get with me, but girls are stupid (no offense, women are great).

Girl #4 was a mistake. She is a nice girl, we are friends and have a good time talking/hanging out, but i never should have hooked up with her.

Girl #5 is actually a girl that is pre-girl #1, and i'm more interested in her than any of the rest, but i'm far less likely to have anything happen with her again. She was my last date, last anything before this summer, a very short thing last September/October that I am still in contact with but have a distance issue that at least at this moment doesn't seem to be overcome.

Life is still going on. In general i'm getting out more and having more fun. I still would prefer to have a relationship rather than just friends with benefits, but I can't force something that isn't there. Right now #3 or #5 or someone I don't know are the options. Wish me luck, and everyone have a wonderful long holiday weekend.

And it is all falling down again

I'm actually handling my life a little better these days, including my recurring girl problems. Its a given that most of my girl problems are on account of my choice in women, but I'm too nice for my own good and see the best in people that I'm interested in.

I got kinda shit on by girl #1 again. After making such an issue about not wanting to date anyone or be anythign more than a hook up with anybody, she is not all of a sudden all about hooking up a relationship with some guy she met, who actually happens to be from my hometown. I'm also being asked to meet and give some approval. Lovely. Its a good thing that I'm only holding onto a very minor crush at this point and we are actually pretty good friends, but its still a slap in the face and makes me feel about as low as possible.

Girl #2 is still cool with me. We talk just about daily, but its nothing more than friends with benefits at long distance. I don't know if it would ever be anything more than that, but I don't think I'll ever find out so I'm really not too worried about it. I am worried that she might get attached at some point, but for now its all fun and good.

Girl #3 is still a huge enigma. I have worked on her for about 6 months. She sends mixed signals. She likes me to some extent, or she wouldn't have slept with me, but she is trying to see another guy that has another girlfriend. She has always been somewhat distant and very guarded. When she let that guard down before we slept together I knew that I was right about the sweetheart that I always thought she really was. I know that I'm far better for her than the other guy, and so do her friends, but she wants the bad boy. I'm doing a lot better and not getting as caught up with this as I did when I was into girl 1 (amazing since I actually slept with this one), but I need to actually know if she just wanted a one-nighter or if she likes me but needs to figure the other out. I'll be fine either way, but I can't take mixed signals, even if they aren't intended to be that way.

Bottom line, I'm going to end up sleeping along for my birthday. This timing to go from 3 to 0 sucks much ass.

Long time, lots new

Its been almost a month since my last post. I've been busy as hell at work and my personal life is starting to pick up, in both good and bad ways.

Work:

70+ hours last week. I'm beat. I don't know if its worth it, but I'll give it another month or so before I start seriously looking for something new. I need to at least make sure.

Personal:

Drinking a lot more often than I used to, but I'm at a point that I seem to be able to handle it and know my limits. I'm sure I'll screw up because I'm human, but so far going out more often is good.

Girl 1 is now just a friend with high potential for drunken hookup. She is much more interested in me now that I have other girls that I am dating, but she wants to maintain a distance until she gets her situation straightened out. I am also fully aware of a large list of past issues, and the fact that she is still making her rounds. Thats about the nicest way I can say what I think about her actions recently.

Girl 2 is moving at the end of the week, about an hour and a half from where I live. I enjoy her company, and we have slept together now. She says she can seperate sex and emotion, but I don't know, and I know I have a lot of issues doing so. I'm planning on seeing her still casually after she moves, and if she moves back into the area and I am not in a relationship than I might see if there is something more with her. Its been known all along that it was short term since she was moving, but its still a very odd feeling.

Girl 3 is newer, though I've known her longer than the other two. She has a bit of a history and a son from her marriage. She is a sweetheart when she allows her guard down a bit, and is much more like me than I ever realized. I have slept with her also (all of the above have been safe sex situations). I'm not sure how I feel about this one, since I have been friendly/chasing her for a while, but it is still the newest of this group.

All and all, I'm more confused, having more fun, and generally just trying to not worry and live life for a while, at the same time as being safe.