I don't like who I've become

You'll have to excuse me for a moment while I feel sorry for myself. I've been doing some soul searching. I don't like me. I'm cold and feel black inside. I've shut everyone out of my life, and the few people I start to try to let in I end up hurting or pushing away. I'm angry all the time. I hide behind mean humor. I miss feeling whole. I miss having people to talk to. I'm just tired of the way things are and don't feel any fix on the horizon.