So its been a while

I was recently reminded that I haven't posted in a while. Its not so much that i've been super busy or anything too new going on. Mostly I'm just being lazy lately. I'm still very guarded. Still not really getting out much. There are a few new people in my life, but not so much going on in a sense of overcomming the walls. I am trying to go home and one of my dogs this weekend, possibly get a new car or truck. Just got a bug and there are good end of model year deals.

I still think about the ex a lot, and also the women that have come into my life since her. Ones i've hurt, ones i've helped, ones that will remember me, for both good and bad. I do not know if or when I will actually let go of her. I have all but decided that I am just not cut out to be truly happy right now. I'm content in that in my little rut. It sucks, but its my life. I'll just sit in my chair, enjoy the unconditional love of my dog, and smile while thinking it can always be worse.