I am so screwed

I have finally come to the understanding of what I need to do for the girl. Space, space, and more space. She is lost in her own life and needs to figure it out before she can figure us out. She hurt me very badly in order to "help" me to finally realize this, but this is where I am none the less.

That being said, its been a few weeks since I've seen or actually spoken to her. she keeps sending comments about being sorry, which I'm sure that she is, but we need time apart to heal individually. In the mean time, I am talking to an old friend, and I'm not sure how I feel about that. I do find her attractive. She was my New Year's date. I do not want to hurt her, and yet I will if I truly pursue anything since it will be comparing her to the girl, and no matter what I say, I haven't given up on fixing that relationship. I have probably already ruined our friendship by kissing her on New Year's, but it seemed like the right thing at the time. Is it bad that I'm more worried about making sure that I can still attempt to fix the orignal relationship potentially at the cost of a dear friend? I know the answer and I hate myself for it. I am so totally screwed.